Once upon a time there were two young youths. A girl youth and a boy youth. They were the same age and went to the same school, naturally in the same town. The summer before their senior year, the girl youth was out playing in a fast pitch softball tournament when suddenly, between games, the boy youth texted her from out of the blue and asked if she wanted to hang out sometime. After a near cardiac arrest (she “liked” him) the girl youth mustered an, “oh yea, sure, when?” text back, reluctantly surrendered the phone to her mother, and went off to play the next game. The mother, now aware of the situation, began sending messages back to keep the conversation going. At some point in the discussion the boy youth asked what team the girl youth was playing for and her mother texted back the team’s name. Between innings the girl asked her mother if the boy had sent anything recently. When the mother answered yes and her unauthorized reply, the girl was mortified to discover that her mother did not abbreviate the team’s name in the message. By strategically abbreviating answers, the girl thought that the boy would be impressed by her leisurely demeanor and think she was nothing less than totally awesome.
Apparently the texts we adequate enough because they hung out a few times. They watched lame movies and went to bad Chinese buffets. He seemed cool and collected, but she was struggling to keep it together. Then one day, he proposed that they start dating and she agreed. They awkwardly
proceeded attempted to seal the deal with a kiss, but because they were standing on slopes, the “lean in” was off-balance and they failed miserably. Her lips caught the corner of his chin and his landed under her nose. Mortified, she calmly thanked him for the date and ran inside, cursing the terrible moment over and over and over and over and over, begging for a redo.
She will be the first to admit that their chemistry as boyfriend and girlfriend took an exceptionally long time to develop. Their first months relied on little more than two cellular phones and a calling card due to her softball tournament in Colorado, his fishing trip to Michigan, and her theatre camp near Chicago. It didn’t help that she’d frequently get lost on the way to his house when coming to visit. Ask either, it was worth the wait. Today, June *15, 2011, is the beginning of their year five. And they live happily ever after.
*In November 2008 the girl youth sent an undercover friend to nonchalantly ask the boy what day he had started dating her. (Naturally, she had been too flustered about the disastrous kiss to remember the date.) The girl youth was relieved when the spy reported back that the boy had no clue either, making it perfectly acceptable to confess to him her own uncertainty. These youths have agreed that June 15 is their “anniversary date.” It is an honorary day that they deem, “close enough.”