It’s splendid to have normal looking nails because you’re not afraid to paint them wild colors and draw attention to them for once. I’m wearing, “Plum Seduction” thanks for asking. This color looks like red but it’s really, “Forestfire.” See that brown on my fingers? Smell it. It’s scented enamel, you Sick-o. “Chocolate Truffle” to be exact. I’m saving up to know what a “Pink Pineapple” smells like. What a wonderful money waste, I’m so proud of myself.
This looks like a killer sandwich but the real star of the show is that thumbnail. You can’t tell from the picture but he’s a thick bastard. Named him, “Big Wig” or “BW” for short. And that background nail has an underbelly. Good gravy! No wonder I stopped eating, mid-sandwich. I forgot to pray. “God is good. God is great. Let us thank him for these nails.”
As you can see, I’m getting better at painting them and preparing to paint them. It takes experience to know what materials are necessary during a manicure at arm’s length. Nothing is worse than remembering that your Quick Dry Drops may or may or may not be at the bottom of your bag but they’re probably rolling around under the passenger seat of your car. That’s going to leave a mark and you’ll have to start over. What a time suck. What a wonderfully expensive, obsessively compulsive, so-totally-worth-it replacement addiction. Send help… and polish remover. I’m fresh out.