I don’t buy cake mixes very often because they stare at me from afar. They come in handy when you’re a bad blog mother, like I am, and forget Life’s Lemons fifth birthday for 27 days and are forced to make an emergency birthday cake. But other than that, cake mixes typically just sit on pantry shelves like little pouty children. They glare. At times, I can almost hear them hiss, “Bake us, you chicken!” It’s unnerving.
Eventually I cry back, “But I have no butter!” They blink. “To make frosting!” They shrug their boxy little shoulders. They don’t care.
Guilt starts to set in. I really shouldn’t think about talking to my cake mixes in such a manner. Especially not in urgent situations, such as this, when I need them for baking a forgotten birthday cake.
So I began brainstorming alternative saturated fats for frosting. Bacon grease, the obvious choice, was ruled out because I had none on hand. So I’ll just attempt to stir up a topping made with coconut oil and be done with it. Blogs don’t have taste buds anyway.
While walking past the pantry, I tried not to but made eye contact with the slivered almonds. They’re just like cake mixes, taunting but more applicable.